When You’re Off Your Game

I am suffering from writer’s burnout. I have been writing so much in the last few days my eyes hurt from this strain from the glow of the computer. My fingers ache from typing. I have been feeling stressed out and trying to calm the ulcer that’s slowly coming back. But oddly… I also feel invigorated. I suppose it’s because I am writing with a different purpose than just for myself or with the hopes of being next best selling author (aren’t we all!) Part of what I produced was good but sadly a lot of it was not. I was feeling overwhelmed and I let it affect my writing. So what am I going to do to fix it? What do any of us do to fix our writing when it seems to have gone downhill?

I could buy a bottle of wine and contemplate I’m terrible I am. Perhaps three quarters of the way down I will start to think how great I am! The first thing I guess I should do is attempt to NOT freak out over every deadline. It wouldn’t be the end of the world even though in the back of my head there’s that little voice screaming hurry up and get it done. I need to take myself away from it and take a deep breath. Besides the everyday struggle I have with my disease, I also have three rambunctious kids to chase after. One being a five month old baby and the other and overly active two and a half year old who realizes my time is better suited with him and not his new baby sister-or anything else. The oldest one will just be happy watching other kids play video games which I still don’t understand.

I usually throw in a family movie and we all sit and hang out. For the first 10 minutes into the movie I look around me and enjoy just how lucky I am to have all these people who love me. Then after that overwhelming sense of love, everyone seems to leap off the couch and find other things to do. And I’m still left with the ghosts of their smiles from the previous few minutes. Once everyone is settled in for the night I will probably get back onto the computer and dive into essays how to make my own writing better. We can always improve. No one is really truly the best at anything and that’s okay. It’s also okay to send up a flare when you feel yourself drowning. Life happens. Loved ones get hurt or sick and you feel as if you should carry on. Mostly because you always have. You don’t. Not at full speed anyway. Family comes first, YOU come first. Lucky for me I have found the kindness in others to make me feel like I am not letting them down. They’re lifting me up.

So burn out.

Fizzle.

Let em fizzle, Olive

But come back full strength when you can. And if people make you feel guilty for taking a little you time, maybe it’s time for you to let them fizzle and burn out.

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