Tag Archives: cry

Emilia Clarke Loves Beyonce…But Can We Talk a Moment about The Mother of Dragons Surviving Two Brain Anyerisms?

Emilia Clarke loves Beyonce (I don’t get it but hey, I am still bitter about Destiny’s Child so to each their own). But instead of everyone freaking out how Clarke was star struck herself about Bey, let’s talk about how this hard-working star suffered two brain aneurysms and underwent surgery while filming and was able to complete a 10-year series.

Yet again, a hard-working female is ignored because a couple of people don’t agree with her adoration of another hard working woman. No matter who you agree with the ending * no end spoilers here*

you cannot disagree with the power and affection her character Daenerys Targaryen held for so many. The surviving member of two… ERM, three Targaryens, had a horrific first wedding night. She was repeatedly raped by a man whom she would eventually grow to love dearly. Her dick brother sold her off for his own gain without a care of what it would take to get his silver haired ass to the Iron Throne and that he threw his little sister to known savages. And while her brother got his just desserts thanks to Khal Drogo (yay Aquaman!) Dany will still always hold dear in my heart as a strong, powerful, and very willful role model.

The Stark Phoenix Rises From the Ashes

I began sneering every time Sansa Stark (Sophia Turner, Xmen’s new Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix) came into view until her horrific story unfolded. We watched a spoiled little girl who witnesses her father’s death evolve into another strong character ( thanks to MORE rape and an abusive relationship with Joffrey and asshat Ramsey. You are killing me, George [Martin]). She now tops my personal list of beloved female characters on a show that, against all odds, took an awful situation and transformed it into a BIG personal plus for Sansa. Although as a woman I do love a good strong female lead, we should not forget the story arcs of are tortured men such as Jon Snow and one of my favorites Theon Greyjoy. Our triumphs, tribulations and our failures all create who we are as people and although these are fictional characters, we can see ourselves within them which is why we relate to them so much.

Between Arya aka Maisie Williams (GoT, Doctor Who) suffering from depression and Dany aka Queen T Emilia Clarke almost dying from blood vessels EXPLODING IN HER HEAD, my Fire and Ice ladies still fight their own demons in real life. This is what we should be discussing; how these women are working tirelessly for our benefit and coming out victorious in the end career-wise and battling very real health issues. We “normal” women struggle with baby dragons of our own (PPD) plus health issues and full time work. While I have never suffered from brain anyerisms, I have been down for the count with major and severe migraines. I can’t even fathom the pain she (Clarke) went through all for the sake of a television show. As someone who understands a deep personal journey which has many twists and turns with great psychological and physical obstacles, let us leave this show knowing that our favorite heroines live on in our hearts even after the end credits role.

So hate on Ms. Clarke if you will because she had stars in her eyes. She will always be the Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains in this home.

Frustrated Incorporated

There is nothing worse than feeling frustrated with situations that fall completely out of your grasp. Recently I found out my baby boy is autistic. We had to meet a bunch of specialists and fill out these questions about him. I’ve been in the preschool teaching game for over a decade and seven of those years with kids three and under. I know the signs as a teacher. You notice things a child does differently than the others. And I did notice with him. But boys do things at a different speed then girls. So I wasn’t worried. Not really. Well, maybe a little. A lot of the signs of children on the spectrum can also be seen as typical behaviors. Like categorizing toys by size and color. Repeating certain words and not being clear with them. I knew what bothered my son and what didn’t. It would be fine going forward right? Then I started reading pamphlets and websites and began to worry more. It’s like when you have a small ache that hasn’t gone away for a while and you go on Dr. Google and see what it could be. Suddenly after ten minutes of research, you find out you’re dying of some rare disease that only .5% of people ever got in the history of Earth. These sites began talking about the signs and then I am reading about if he needs adult care and how to live with your autistic child forever. I imagined him at fifty and us barely moving thanks to our barely functioning bodies. How could I care for my grown son when my own shit was a struggle to live with? What happens when I’m sick and he needs me? I am already crawling half the day from my endo.

I am in full panic mode after reading this stuff. We don’t know yet what level (if that’s how they measure) he is. I don’t know if he will do well in school all day. I sit with him now, his pale cheeks spotted with bits of dried muffin and he is happy. He is watching videos about dinosaurs and he is naming them all along with colors and shapes, numbers and animals. He loves other kids and he hugs us and yells out “family hugs!” He jumps with excitement when he sees his older sister and they play legos together. I see him as just GG, my middle baby and happy boy. What if some asshole kid with his yellow-toothed punk friends picks on him? What if he hates himself because he is “different”? What if some shitty teacher targets him and flunks him all the time because he learns differently than other kids? My husband and I sometimes dread these scenarios that, of course, have never happened yet. But my mind is on its own, creating this world that may never occur. And I’ve been a parent for a while now and a teacher for a long time. I know this is just how our minds work. All I want to do is protect my kids from anyone who will ever do them harm. I can only wait which sucks 100%. Until then I can watch him enjoy his little life, his love of snuggles and dinosaurs and hope everything will work out.


1 in 10

I went for a normal exam at my lady doctor. I am here now 2 days later in some of the worst pain in my life. Just keeping up with my health is giving me pain. I have a job, three kids, a husband…a LIFE. And a part of it has to be disrupted by #endo. You may not have any health issues (and I hope you do not!)but if you do you may understand the frustration of it all. Waking up and never knowing if today you will be able to function. Or is it a day you spend hiding under the covers on the couch?

1 in 10 women have #endometriosis. I am part of a great community but we are bound by pain and suffering. We could make our own country with the number of #women who have #endo. Maybe we should. Then at least we could have doctors who don’t dismiss our symptoms or family members who tell us to shut up and deal with it. We need to fight for a greater quality of life. I’m still fighting for it. I am fighting for my daughters and my #endosisters and #endobabes. What are you fighting for?

When the Car Pool Line Makes You Cry

There are few things in this world that can scare a parent( besides the obvious of our child being injured in some horrible way). We have seen what seems to be a  lifetime of projectile bodily fluids in directions we didn’t know existed and landing into crevices we also never knew existed. We have seen tantrums that range from the obvious (Mom I have been up for 17 hours straight and only ate 3 animal crackers, I am cranky) to the obnoxiously ridiculous (I AM SCREAMING IN THE STORE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN UP FOR 17 HOURS AND ALL YOU GAVE ME WAS THREE STUPID CRACKERS, YOU MONSTER!) But there is nothing NOTHING more frightening than having a car jam packed with kids who are screaming while you are stuck in the carpool line watching that parent (You Know Who They Are)cutting off everybody else, or watching Susan stand and talk to her friend in the road. Or waiting for Susan’s two other children Aloe Vera and Bernice fall and smack their heads because no one is watching them climbing the flag pole. Get your shit together Susan.

So anyway my daughter’s school expanded two more grades. I couldn’t help but think how great it was. 1 min from my car and 4 minutes to walk. Either way if I was running late I could just get there in a matter of minutes. Two more years of this bliss. This is a mom’s dream- my kid can run late BUT still be early. I was so happy. Then I got into the longest pool line on Earth.


Where we live, the town is separated into the hills and the flats. We live in the hills area, 2 min away from the Main Street and all those adorable shops and restaurants. However, the street I must sit on if I am running late to get my daughter is on a hill. Like a San Francisco hill. My car is on such a steep angle that last year my car stalled. I had gas but ALL of it pooled to the front and my car stalled on the hill. I’m pumping the breaks and when they fail I grabbed the emergency break. I’m flailing my arms on this 45 degree angle. My son falls asleep in the car and his head just flops so far down he is snoring and choking on his own chin and spit.

I shut my car off so I don’t waste the gas therefore my car doesn’t stall. But now I am stuck where I am falling into the steering wheel and sweating because it’s not just hot, it’s pea soup hot. I look ahead and I see the healthy yoga moms who walked with not a drop of sweat on their brow talking. The tired moms who flipped their fingers off to their closet standing there in their pjs and slippers, and of course there’s Susan with her children halfway up the side of the building. Then you have the crossing guards who have no idea which direction anyone is coming in even though it’s a one way street. Then everyone freezes because they see a cop. He looks around and then leaves. THE CAR POOL LINE IS SO BAD THE OFFICER OF THE LAW BOLTS. The baby starts to cry and I throw my short arm back to soothe her which in reality is just a Stumpy arm flapping about the air because I can’t reach her. By this point the kids are lining up outside and I have completely hyper-extended my elbow. Finally it’s my turn and I pull up to the front. All the teachers are on radios which is completely new this year. They look at the name of the tag on my car and start calling for my eldest. I hear the name Emma being called out “Emma!” “Emma?” Emma!!” I jump out of the car as she is escorted out of the doors.  She smiles and walks over. The walk between the front doors and my car seemed as if my daughter had been carrying around a golden ring she needed to throw in a pit of fire. What the hell was taking so long??

“Hi mo-” I proceeded to rip her backpack off and throw it into the front seat and yelling at her “go go go go!” I buckled her in and finally sped off. The air I am gulping could never satisfy the feeling of utter exacerbation I felt. I didn’t know if I needed 3 excedrins or a bunch of Xanax. I pulled up at home and got the kids situated inside. I finally flopped down on the couch only to realize I had to go through this fresh hell again twice tomorrow.

Bring it on, Susan