Tag Archives: shaming

When History Repeats Itself After Some Hard Learned Lessons

Hey…Remember when Hitler won and the world was made up of blonde and blue-eyed non Jews, no LGTBQ peeps, zero Gypsies, no more Polish peeps and it was awesome?

Oh wait yes…yep that’s right. It didn’t happen. Because of that whole he was a genocidal, mentally delusional wacko. And a little war that ended his dystopian fantasy. But wait a minute, here we are facing more laws that narrow down people’s human rights all because dudes in power don’t like other people making their own choices based on their own values.

Yes that was a run on sentence. NO I don’t care. Because I have more important things to freak out about for example, how my two daughters may not be able to have access to birth control to help them, you know, control unwanted pregnancy or help with pelvic diseases such as endometriosis and PCOS. How are you going to say that people should be denied birth control and then get upset that they want abortions for the births that could have been avoided because you took away their birth control? Do you see how ridiculous this whole thing is?

Their thoughts:

Birth control is murder. You take a pill, you ovulate but no fertilization hence no baby. So no bc. But now you had sex and are preggers but don’t or can’t have the baby so you go get an abortion because we said no birth control.

Huh?

Don’t worry Elmo. We are ALL confused. Is this a set up? Are you trying to weed out the women? We create you (unfortunately) bunch of assholes who feel the need to make laws that don’t personally affect you. You live in your big houses, with your wife and children, and you get Healthcare that is phenomenal. All the while the rest of us have to spend 80% of our paychecks on healtcare. Not to mention rent and food and other necessities. Which doubles when you have a baby you didn’t want or can even take care of right now. So have the baby then, correct and adopt it to someone? So, pay for the prenatal care and the birth which can land you in debt itself all because it makes you feel better.

It is not even about you personally not having a uterus so you don’t get a say (but really, you don’t). An abortion is not some easy choice. It is a painful and heartbreaking choice and sometimes necessary. (Rape, generic diseases etc. You know, those “pesky” issues you seem to fice zero shits about). Abortion is physically painful too btw as well as mentally hurtful. Why a woman or a couple or a trans man decides to get one is not your business. What medication someone takes is not your business. And certainly telling people they should abstain is not going to help. So instead of thinking with your ass or bible not everyone believes in, leave the reproductive health issues to the people who can you know, REPRODUCE.

Frustrated Incorporated

There is nothing worse than feeling frustrated with situations that fall completely out of your grasp. Recently I found out my baby boy is autistic. We had to meet a bunch of specialists and fill out these questions about him. I’ve been in the preschool teaching game for over a decade and seven of those years with kids three and under. I know the signs as a teacher. You notice things a child does differently than the others. And I did notice with him. But boys do things at a different speed then girls. So I wasn’t worried. Not really. Well, maybe a little. A lot of the signs of children on the spectrum can also be seen as typical behaviors. Like categorizing toys by size and color. Repeating certain words and not being clear with them. I knew what bothered my son and what didn’t. It would be fine going forward right? Then I started reading pamphlets and websites and began to worry more. It’s like when you have a small ache that hasn’t gone away for a while and you go on Dr. Google and see what it could be. Suddenly after ten minutes of research, you find out you’re dying of some rare disease that only .5% of people ever got in the history of Earth. These sites began talking about the signs and then I am reading about if he needs adult care and how to live with your autistic child forever. I imagined him at fifty and us barely moving thanks to our barely functioning bodies. How could I care for my grown son when my own shit was a struggle to live with? What happens when I’m sick and he needs me? I am already crawling half the day from my endo.

I am in full panic mode after reading this stuff. We don’t know yet what level (if that’s how they measure) he is. I don’t know if he will do well in school all day. I sit with him now, his pale cheeks spotted with bits of dried muffin and he is happy. He is watching videos about dinosaurs and he is naming them all along with colors and shapes, numbers and animals. He loves other kids and he hugs us and yells out “family hugs!” He jumps with excitement when he sees his older sister and they play legos together. I see him as just GG, my middle baby and happy boy. What if some asshole kid with his yellow-toothed punk friends picks on him? What if he hates himself because he is “different”? What if some shitty teacher targets him and flunks him all the time because he learns differently than other kids? My husband and I sometimes dread these scenarios that, of course, have never happened yet. But my mind is on its own, creating this world that may never occur. And I’ve been a parent for a while now and a teacher for a long time. I know this is just how our minds work. All I want to do is protect my kids from anyone who will ever do them harm. I can only wait which sucks 100%. Until then I can watch him enjoy his little life, his love of snuggles and dinosaurs and hope everything will work out.

#TeamGrayson

#Shame

So recently I’ve noticed a trend which I know has been around for a long time but in recent days and weeks, I’ve seen it more. Shaming people for being themselves. Most recently I have witnessed woman shaming among other types but this was super recent.

So the story: A picture or status would pop up on a mutual friends social media and some of us comment on it and we will be banter and argue and sometimes it does get heated. But in the past we have all said our opposite opinions made for good discussions and we respected each other. We all need a good discussion based on our views. And it’s great to share our differences and a little heat in the conversation is always welcome but when it starts to catch on fire it’s time to put it away . Anyway, I’ve noticed not just with me but other women are being called “sluts” or even “cunts” and more recently “liberal/feminist cunt or slut”. We are told to be quiet because we are women. And the worst part is not just being called such names but after the conversation has ended a day or two later this person will come back and keep name-calling. And if we continue spouting our opinions we are then called a “feminist ____” immediately followed with some more derogatory words. Why should I have slanderous words flown at me because I have an opinion just like somebody else does?

Slut. Bitch. Whore. These are the words that stick to us and stick inside us, in our guts and dig at our confidence. My opinion is worth just as much as yours and vice versa. When people say horrendous things and spout them as facts you then know there is nothing you can say that will get through to them even just being pleasant to each other. Even showing statistical data suddenly “the government is going into the internet and changing all the information to suit their needs”. I was shamed a few weeks ago when some women came to our house to discuss their views on their religion. When told we do not practice that religion they then said everyone makes mistakes. You can share your views and we can discuss the differences and what we believe in, but don’t tell me I made a “mistake” because I believe or don’t in something. Women vs women in the name calling department is awful. We should be able to have our own differences but unite based on the fact that we share many things together and embrace our differences. But when you hear such disrespectful talk coming out of a man’s mouth, that goes even beyond machismo and mansplaning…it is frightening. Sure they are only words and that is true, but our history shows that entire nations can be moved by what comes out of even one person’s mouth. Verbal threats can drive-through a woman just as badly as a fist through a wall. It’s more than just feminism or a so-called liberal point of view, it’s speaking with such disgust and hatred that it just drips out of your mouth with toxic distain. Of course you have freedom of speech to back you up and if that’s how you really feel about the people around you whether women, men, or whomever you speak of then it is of course your right. But then don’t become aghast when people fight against it or have equally strong opinions that you say “do not count”. If you choose to accost people with your words then be ready to have those same people defend themselves.

I am OVER the slut shaming. The woman shaming. The “I have a vagina” shaming. Religion shaming. In a recent social media conversation displayed, someone said that women invite rape if you drink too much or dress a certain way and it is your fault if you are a victim. Now we are victim shaming women because let’s see… my dress hem might be a little too high?? My lipstick is too red? If you decided to go to a party and drank a little too much and you are assaulted then well…it is your fault because how dare you try to have fun at a party and trust that your life isn’t torn apart by someone who wants to hurt you! I get stay at home mom shaming and when I worked I got shamed into that too. I am told I am lazy for having a chronic disease I can’t help because there are days I can’t do anything more than get up and get dressed. I have witnessed awful comments about people’s sexuality in a negative way if they support someone or something another person does not approve of. There is too much SHAMING and it is EVERYWHERE.

If you must call me a liberal snowflake feminist whore, then go right ahead. I will not let your words show me who I am Or my tribe of women, men, LGTBQ, or ANYONE who is shamed for being who they are. You can have your opinion of me. But you can’t DEFINE me.